Chapter 0120
“It wasn’t what it looked like,” I said on reflex
“You said before what you felt for Julian wasn’t serious,” he said.
“It’s not.”
Nicholas crossed his arms. His jaw tightened and he didn’t say anything else.
I didn’t know what else to say, how to ease his worries, than to tell him the truth. “Julian saved me from
you father.”
Nicholas’s enter focus zeroed in on me. All emotion vanished. He looked me over as if looking for injury,
then spoke fiercely, “What happened?”
I explained, about the summons, about the threat, and about Julian’s timely intervention. By the end of it, Nicholas had come closer, standing before me again, concern crinkling his brow
“I’m okay now,” I said. “I heard some of your speech. You likely assuaged most of his fears. So you
saved me, too. Thank you.”
He shook his head. “It wasn’t hard to say those words. I had held onto them for as long as I knew you
about you and Elva. Before I knew the truth.”
“I’m sorry.” I should have told him the truth sooner, perhaps, but it had taken a long time for me to believe that he would even want to know. For so long, it had seemed easier for the past to stay in the past.
“I wish I would have known about your situation then. Maybe I could have done something to help.” He sighed. “Some of what I said today. I meant about myself.”
I
I vehemently shook my head. “You had no way of knowing the truth, Nicholas. I purposefully kept it from you. I’d thought then that I was protecting you… Honestly, knowing what I know now, I don’t regret it.”
“You can’t mean that.”
I looked him in his eyes. His were so gorgeous, even under the dim tungsten lights Golden irises with flecks of green, watching me like I was someone worth setting his royal gaze upon. Someone who
mattered.
I would always be grateful to him for his kindness. But facts were facts, and a whole world separated us
now, as it did then.
“You’ll likely be king someday, Nick”
I hadn’t used that nickname outside of my dreams in three long years. It took a physical toll saying it now, on me, with my heart aching. On him too, if the way he thickly swallowed was any indication.
“You need to make sure you settle down with the right woman for the kingdom.” I shrugged, a little sad.” That is not, nor ever was, me. And if you tied yourself down to Elva and me, you would have regretted it. Maybe not right away, but at some point.”
Nicholas watched me for so long, like he was trying to look straight down into my soul. I wondered what
he saw there.
7 wouldn’t have regretted it,” he said.
My eyes went wide, looking at him. He seemed so… earnest, as if he meant every word. But how could he? Sticking with me and Elva would have changed the entire trajectory of his life.
Marrying a commoner, adopting her child, he might never had had the chance to be king. Surely he could see that the value of a kingdom was worth more than that of a broken down waitress and her kid.
He didn’t seem like he agreed. In fact, he looked for all the world like he wanted to keep arguing with me.
But he didn’t say one word more, and neither did I.
After a while, he said, “You shouldn’t be in here alone with me. It’s against the rules.
Nicholas was a stickler for the rules.
“I’ll go,” I said.
I stopped at the door to glance at him. He faced away from me and did look back.
Later, with Susie’s help, Elva and I practiced the appropriate curtseys for the garden party. We were out in the gardens. I had to wear heels, to simultaneous practice walking in the grass without the heels
sinking down into the dirt..
