Chapter 0053
(Luna Jane POV)
My heart stopped when James asked about Lily’s birthday.
I was honestly relieved when Nick could not remember. In fact, I had to stop myself from reaching out
and hugging him.
But then, when James demanded to see Lily’s pack file, my heart stopped again. I wish I had anticipated
that he might want to look at it.
Randall and I went through Lily’s file two days after James was released from the hospital, so the look on
James’ face when he opened the file did not surprise me; I knew exactly what James was going to find
when he opened it.
My primary hope now is that James does not put the pieces together the same way that his father and I
did. Or at the very least, I hope that he does not put ALL of the pieces together.
If I had to do things all over again, I would. In retrospect, I wish that I had never allowed myself to
become so jealous of Cecilia. I wish I had never acted on my jealousy. I wish I had never asked Margie
to eat those strawberries. And I wish that I had never allowed Margie to convince me that James and
Stephanie were mates.
Unfortunately, I cannot change the past. The only thing that I can do at this point is try to salvage the
future.
still talking
My son now knows my deepest, darkest secret. He is clearly angry and bitter about it, but at least he is
alking to me. As things stand, there is hope that he will forgive me. However, I am scared about. what will happen if James discovers that I unintentionally steered him towards Stephanie and away from
his actual mate. Will he understand and forgive me for that as well? Will he even believe me that I was
blinded by guilt and not acting intentionally?
More importantly, if James figures out the full truth, will he still be willing to play the part of Stephanie’s
grieving mate?
It might seem wrong for me to worry about James continuing to playing that part, but I do worry about it.
I have to.
The sad reality is that we cannot end Stephanie’s memorials simply because James and Nick now know. about Tyler. We also cannot tell the pack that we have been wrong all these years about Stephanie being mated to James and being his destined Luna.
Stephanie still lived
great me,
In addition, we will lose credibility in front of the back if we confess that Stephanie and James were not
fated mates. No, not just credibility… we will look like absolute fools.
On top of that, if we tell the pack the truth, Margie will find out as well. Finding out that James and
Stephanie were not fated mates will break Margie’s heart.
I can think of absolutely no reason that I need to break Margie’s heart right now. No matter who knows
about my secret, Tyler and Stephanie are still dead, and my best friend is still dealing with the loss of two
of her children,
If hosting grand memorial events for Stephanie twice a year makes Margie feel better, who am I to end
them? If pretending that Stephanie was destined to be luna brings Margie peace, why would I take that
away from her?
To be fair, I would probably feel differently if I believed that there was a reasonable chance of James
and Lily actually being together. Despite my mistakes, I really do love my son and I want him to be
I
happy. All wolves know that being with your fated mate is a wolf’s best chance at happiness.
However, in this particular situation, what is done is done. When James accepted Lily’s rejection, he
essentially closed that chapter of his life. In order for James and Lily to be together now, so many things would have to happen:
1)-James would have to find Lily. That will not be easy, Randall and I have been looking for her since
James was released from the hospital.
2) –James would have to forgive Lily for her part in Stephanie’s death. It does not matter that Stephanie was not his fated mate, James still loved her. It took several months for Randall to forgive me for trying to poison Cecilia, and he and Cecilia dated for only a fraction of the time that Stephanie and James were
together.
3)–Lily would have to forgive James. If Randall ever spoke to me the way that James spoke to Lily at the memorial, I would find it almost impossible to forgive him… and that is after spending 30 years of our
lives together.
The odds of any of these three things happening is slim. The odds of all three of those things. happening? And before either of them receives a second chance mate? No. I am not a betting person, but in this case, I would bet big money that it is not going to happen.
Given that James is not going to be with Lily, I see no harm in focusing my attention on protecting our reputations and Margie’s feelings. In the eyes of the pack, Stephanie should remain James’ fated mate and the destined luna of the pack. In eleven months, James will take a chosen mate as previously
The only wrinkle I anticipate is that-if James puts the pieces together- it will become harder for me to convince him to stay the course. Thankfully, though, I am prepared to do whatever it takes to push him in
the right direction.
This time, I will learn from my mistakes. I will not allow my son to second guess himself as to Lily and
lose even more years of his life to grief and pain.
I admit that I was not thinking of my son, Margie, or the pack when I acted out 27 years ago, but I am a
different person today. 2
